This Broken Jawbone of our Lost Kingdoms

by kevin schlereth

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released September 3, 2016

Drums recorded by Evan Kunze
All other recording and mixing by David Mantel
Players: Kevin Schlereth, Fallon Braddy, Jay Costlow, Evan Kunze, David Mantel, Amy Savoie, and Chris Bernstorf



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kevin schlereth St Louis, Missouri

post-folk nomad. doing life with everyone mostly in their homes.

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Track Name: Dark Depths
He floated out in the water, trying to survive, clinging to life.
He washed up on the seashore, no longer alive, he was not even 5.
We just stand there, watch idly, weigh the threat posed to our safety.

They’re sending out the distress call. It goes to voicemail after one ring.
We’re too busy to answer, trying to score points for political sides.
What does it mean? Who’s my neighbor? Who’s a killer? Am I my brother’s keeper?

When you died in the water, we saw you there.
When you died in the water, we tried to care. We didn’t care.

This world is a cruel place. I thought that I told you. We’re all just trying to live, but what if some harm should come. What if they kill my wife and kids? Suspicion as sacrosanct, spread fear in Jesus’ name.

What good will he find in us?
What good will Jesus find in us?
Track Name: Jesus' Name pt 1
I heard Jesus’ name. I heard everyone telling me that he, he is just not for them, but it’s okay, it’s cool if you want to believe.
I heard Jesus Christ. I heard, man I thought that Kevin was smarter than this. How was he deceived so easily by a 2000 year old myth.
I head murmurings, I saw doubting eyes, I felt patronizing smiles. And they’re telling me that you believe I’m crazy or I’m just dumb.
Or maybe he comes from the Midwest, or maybe his parents believed it. Give him a break.

We’re all so smart, we’re all so clever, we’re all so good and having it together and together and we’ll never ever ever have to question anything within our hearts because we’ve already decided there is just not a god and even if there was it wouldn’t matter because we could never love him after all that he had done to us. I’m so glad that we know so much.
Track Name: Flickering
My fragile heart is flickering and I can’t maintain this pace. I’m floating on a sea of souls, but can’t find your cup to drink. If it wasn’t bad enough, I’m erasing my memories. So much that I used to know.

Do you know me, God of heaven? Do you see me? When will your comfort come?

My life is a constant drive and I’m asleep at the wheel. I heard I should try to howl, but my mouth is filled with empty wails. Wasn’t ever good enough, but I bet that I thought I was. So much that I need to know.

Just to be known, just to be seen. Singular hope, sufficiency. Not what I was, not what I am. Just that I’m known, just that I’m known.
Track Name: Hope Alive
We’re all content, not a want or a need until the day that we’re born, naturally.
I live my life looking for that which I can’t find.
My heart’s like a friend but the kind you don’t need because he’s known to deceive infinitely.
I waste my life longing for that which is not mine.
But I’m trying to learn to tell the truth is there anyone who has got that wish?
Is there anybody out there listening?
I know, lies held in my throat, my heart’s dark rotted core.
Track Name: Summer Nights
I’m looking for you but I can’t find you. Are you buried under the weight of all my judgment?
When it comes to action, it’s not the thought that counts, it’s not the words you thought you’d say when you wrote it out. It’s more than measured thoughts and careful words. It’s what you do and say when not afraid you’ll be heard.
What can be done to extract the shame I’ve sown into you? To rip the stitches and let it fall out from you?
These summer nights aren’t the same without you. When are you coming home?
Track Name: to be Alone
Sometimes I want to be alone but I can’t do that.
When did it get to be so hard just to get out of bed?
When did I start to feel alone surrounded by my friends?
It’s not like it used to be.
Sometimes I want to be alone, no I don’t want that.
Track Name: to be Alone, Never
It’s two days until you’re leaving and I can’t bring myself to get out of bed. It’s not that I’m tired, but I’m tired of the voice in my head saying that I stay in bed to often.
I’m never gonna be alone.
It’s one day until you’re leaving. I wrote a note so you would know how much I care. You’re never gonna see it cause the voice tells me that burdening you with feelings is unfair.
I’m never gonna be alone, I know that you’re with me.
Today’s the day you’re leaving. I shake the voices long enough to walk to your house. I knock and I wait for what seems to be an eternity to find you’ve left already.
Track Name: Where did you go
Fire, fire, burn.
How long will it turn, spinning in a void, awaiting your return?
Where did you go, and how long will you be to prepare a place for me?
Water, water, churn.
Body’s spirit yearns, looking to the sky with so much left to learn.
I wish we had constructed temporary shelters there, ignoring your orders to know what it’s like to live there. To see you transfigured upon this mount means everything. That you would require us to move on confuses me. We want to see your face aglow once again, to hear your father call out, “my son, I am well pleased.”